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Instead of swimming to shore from the deep blue sea of microbiology and aquaculture to which I had thrown myself in July, I was barely treading water since my resignation.
November was a month where I was constantly losing time, my thoughts were trailing everywhere, I couldn't focus on a single thing for more than a quarter of an hour, and sometimes I just take several catnaps throughout the day just to screw my head back on.
Prayers were a constant cry for help...any help I can get. Gone were the days I prayed for something specific, for something not so vague and generic. No more words...just an empty space during quiet times, trying to listen and trying not to listen too hard until nothing can be heard.
It took a lot of courage for a person so naturally pessimistic to let go and let be.
But I did. I have. I will.
For as December draws to an end, I realised that all the instability and uncertainty that I've felt in the past two months were actually the changes needed in my life and some are still settling down in place.
Of course, not all changes are sweet and pleasant, and I truly, truly hope that some decisions taken are for the better, especially when they involve a decent amount of effort made in the past.
I wish I can truly say what I want to right now...but the one thing I'm trying to learn is that everything has it's place and time.
#100happydays was meant to be a planned event but me being me, I thought sooner was better than later which may be never.
